Fear Factor: Crippling Stage Fright!

Unbelieveable! I don't know what to do about it. All my life I've been this way, parents encouraging me to play my guitar for the grandparents, friends, friend's parents. Never really done well in front of just a few smiling faces.

Once I got into college and joined "Cops in Concert" (mid 80's Riverside City Police officers did a Blues Brothers type show), I had no problem playing in front of people. But I was playing rhythm with an awesome guitar player who took over the lead parts. Until one night, that guitar player didn't show up. I had to cover all my parts and his, on the fly (musician jargon for improvisation). It was hell for an hour and a half. Good money though.

I have been playing lead for about 10 of my 30 years guitar experience. Two years before the last 10, I've spent almost every night just playing anything while watching TV, not really paying any attention to playing notes or anything recognizable. This got me comfortable with the guitar in my hands. This process helped me slightly consider playing solos. I figured out fingering patterns and also caught myself trying to play along with TV jingles. This is a trick that Larry Carlton recommends. Works well.

I relate to Michigan J Frog (image above). Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Show, Saturday morning cartoons; this is a story about a man finding a small box at a demolition construction site. He opens the box and out pops this singing frog. The man visions his future fortunes when he tries to convince everybody about this great frog. Only problem is, the frog only sings alone when it's only the man and the frog. I play very well when I know nobody is listening. The minute I'm aware that I'm being heard, I either stop playing or start making mistakes. I project my perceived critical assessment on others, you know, others evaluate my playing as harshly as I do.

Back to my stage fright. Large crowds, no problem, the bigger the better. That's why I have no problem playing at the Grove...well, used to. I have a self image problem that I'm working on. I know it goes against everything I'm supposed to think but it's an insecurity that is constantly being adressed. Wow, large screens at church, me 20 times larger than life. I'm concentrating on playing, yet I look upset, mouth agape, and head tilted upwards. When I'm soloing, I'm not aware of the first two but the looking up part is due to looking to God and praying to "get through this gig". The open mouth thing I've noticed recently. Actually I'm not aware of it. Kind of reminds me of this guy.

Big Al, Country Bears Jamboree, now "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh"

Now I have this new sense of body language awareness on top of concentrating on playing. So I played at Java Bliss, a local coffee house. Our band, Quick Before Sinking played out for it's first time. All eyes watching. The whole time I'm thinking, "keep your mouth closed, don't look upset, oh man, there's other guitar players here, don't mess up, oooh, don't look up, have fun, darn missed a note, oh no, this is Adam's song, don't mess it up, man my hands hurt, Aggie's so so cute, oh wait, do I sing backup here?, I wish I brought my song book and in order, oh oh someone is taking pictures, I wonder who's blog that will end up in, I hope I didn't have my mouth open, doh, I'm looking up again, what no break? am I having fun?, relax don't do it, Frankie?, maybe I sing here, wait a minute, Adam is changing his phrasing while I'm singing with him, I think that means don't sing here, oh man I messed up his song, hey it's 8:39 PM, I think I'll sell my equipment."

I miss recording.