Reflections of 4 Decades.

Today, on my 44th birthday, I'm lying in bed reflecting on the past 4 decades of my life (deep, I know!).

1968: I'm turning 4 years old on this date and living with my Mom in an apartment in Rialto, CA. At that time, I was totally unaware of what I mother struggled through in order to make a life for me. This being a short year after the divorce of my parents, I still don't ever remember feeling down or unhappy. I remember my grandmother's fiancé dying in a helicopter crash that year, but still not really having any real feelings of life struggles or anything like that.

One thing I do remember, was when I attended a Christian Day Care/Pre-school. It was a church that doubled as a nursery school and kindergarten. Besides sprinkling playground sand on my head and groovin' on the feeling when I'd massage it around my scalp (me an Quintin), I remember looking up to the San Bernardino Mountains and actually believing that was Heaven. I would stare at the mountain crest and imaging people walking around with sheep and wearing biblical robes and sandals. In those days it was so clear you could actually see the pine trees at the tops of the mountain from Rialto.

1978: Today I'm 14 and attending junior high. Strange time for me. I'm just getting into guitar playing. I'm taking lessons at a local music store once a week, handing over Molly Hatchet albums over to my instructor who effortlessly takes 3 minutes to listen to the song I want, then jots down the music for me to learn. I was amazed by this.

I'm in love with Kim Delo who was my Marcia Brady to me. First girl to actually have the nerve to call on the phone. She was nice enough to keep me interested and to keep my gifts coming (bought her some earrings for Christmas, but that was not enough to win her over as girlfriend status).

That summer, I remember learning how to water-ski with my stepfather. We got along really well during these years, unless I really blew it with school grades, which I struggled with at this time.

1988: It's been little over a year since my break up with a 4 year relationship. Now turning 24, I have just met the most amazing girl in my life, I'm living in my own apartment in Redlands, CA, and I have a steady job which I keep moving up the ladder. Longest job I've ever had (ha, one year).

But since November of '88, I can't get this girl out of my mind. I have to see her everyday. We're leaving mushy voice messages on each other's answering machines.I remember thinking at this time that I was glad to get out of my home in the mountains and be on my own. Parents were treating me decent now and not getting on my case for everything I did. At least that what I remember thinking at that age.

1998: Age 34 and I've been working at my current job for 4 years now. We've been living in our current house for 1 year now. I've been married for 8 years, have a 4 year old daughter and now earlier this year, have a new addition to the family, my daughter Libby. Allison is quite the talker and full of energy and crazy off the wall comments. This year becomes a challenge to provide equal time for both girls, making sure Allison does not feel like she's second best now that there's a new baby in the house.

Oh yeah, and I got my first Fender Custom Shop Relic this year! I'm playing occasionally with a band that's primarily made of police officers. It's good money and I really enjoy playing out in public. Lots of fundraisers and benefits which would usually equal about $150 for me that night.Had a '94 Fender Blues Deluxe amp.

At this year, it's the pivotal moment that I start considering building my own guitars and what begins as my Fender Replica building stage. It's that Custom Shop Relic that inspires me to see if I can build something similar.

2008: Tough year, probably the toughest up to date. Lots of tragedies, family, friends, work, just too numerous to mention here. This year has probably troubled me the most. This year will be an adjustment for every holiday to come. There has been no escape. It came from every direction.

My family has really been my anchor and refuse for me this year. Usually I would turn to my music to get away from everything. But with my hand issues, I've felt like that was taken away from me too. Can't spend money (which I like to do to get my mind off of stuff), can't drink (too much) because that could develop into something more serious. And going to church which used to be my second sanctuary reopens my frustration to not be apart of my ministry, playing in services.

Flip side, our home addition was finished, and that means that everyone is happy with their own rooms. No more fights over bathrooms. I've been blogging a little over a year now. It's been very therapeutic for me. It's a little known fact that after blogging about a difficult time or frustrating moment, that I feel like I've had a huge weight lifted off of me. We have a new kitten which we can't seem to name. But it's been really fun to have a cat that's fun again. We haven't experienced that since our old cat Emerson was young (died in 2006).

Building guitars doesn't seem to hurt my hands. So that's going well. I've got a whole bunch of ideas planned for 2009.But I have hope for age 44. Other than my hand and back, I'm generally healthy. I've had my flu shots (we'll see how that pans out). And my plans are to start working out, eating better....after the holidays!

Today, I'll go to church, look over a friend's new Tele, have brunch, go to Color Me Mine and relax the rest of the day...while doing some laundry.